vacation

Tomorow, Lena and I head for Mexico. We will be accompanied by our friends Randy and Kerry Russell, my Mom and Dad, and aunt Susie and Kylee. I can hardly wait. I have been roofing all week and it has been snowing at night. I am ready for this trip in a big way. I'm outta here.

Promises we make ourselves

I remember waking up one morning on a dirt road somewhere in the middle of Wyoming. I was sleeping in the cab of my pickup with my feet sticking out the passenger window. My eyes hurt from the dry dust caked in the corners. I couldn't remember much of the night before, nor the week. I sat up and slowly looked around, trying to recognize where I was. No Idea. I forenzically went through the events I could remember and peiced together some notion that I had been in Colorado for a couple days and was headed back to Montana. I took a look at myself in the rear view mirror, I felt like it was the first time I had looked at myself in a long time. I had been lost, not just geographically, but spiritually. The land around me was painted a sandy pink hue from the pre-dawn light. The Sun would be coming up soon, and there was nothing around me but miles of sage and old fences. I truly felt alone in the beautiful sunrise. I noticed a little breeze start to move through the window. I looked at myself once again and spoke out loud, "I'm done with this." I grabbed my boots off of the floorboard and pulled them on one by one. I started the truck and left that peice of myself right there in the desert. I never looked back.

Awesome

I got a recipe from a friend that I put to good use last night. I took one of the tenderloins from the elk I got this year and cut it into thin strips lenght wise, (you want them wide and thin). Then I seasoned them with Garlic and some Van's Grilling Baste. Any kind of rub or marinade you prefer will work. Then I spread a good layer of cream cheese over the tops of the fillets. Next take some pickled jalepenos and chop them into medium sized chunks and spread them over the cream cheese. Roll the fillets up with the cream cheese and jalepenos in the middle, and wrap the outside with a peice of bacon. Use tooth picks to hold it all together. Throw them on the bbq and get ready for a party. Remember that we are at the top of the food chain for a reason, so enjoy it!

Hard to do

I have a lot of anger in my heart right now. There are some people who are intentionally causing pain and anguish to people I care about. There are also those who are doing it unintentionally but probably know better. I have been told to pray for these people, the ones that are hardest for us to love. I am not Jesus, not even close. I am trying very hard to forgive these people, but it makes me so angry. I know this is the challenge of loving your neighbor. I know, with time and effort, I can forgive them. However, I don't think I could ever come close to loving them, no matter how hard I tried.
Right now I know that there is someone out there that I hurt. Probably more than just one someone. I hope that they can forgive me.

Deep Water

I think about Peter in Mathew 14 when Jesus walks across the water toward the boat on the rough seas. Sometimes we need a savior only when we begin to sink. Many people have begun to sink, but are grasping out for the wrong savior. A politician, a frivolous law suit, government aid, the list goes on. Grasping straws that will not reach from the depths. I think for many it is time to be humble. I truly believe you can only help those who wish to be helped, and not just enabled.

Reflections from Nationals

I had a great time in Omaha with my friends watching the NCAA wrestling tournament. I got to spend a week with some of my old teammates, some of whom I haven't seen in a long time. I also relived some old memories, along with about 20 thousand others. I love the national tournament. It is three days of excellent wrestling, partying, and reunions. There is also a lot of excitement, elation, and sadness. It is hard to watch a young man fall short of his goals, disappointed to the point of tears. It is also great to watch the exhilaration that comes to those who achieve theirs.

St. Paddy's day

It's a big deal here in Montana. My wife is on a party bus headed for Butte with her family. I have a green shirt on, but it doesn't show when I wear a jacket. I might punch someone if they pinch me.

Reunion Time

I am heading back to the NCAA wrestling tournament in Omaha, Nebraska tomorrow to meet up with some old buddies. I can't wait. I love the NCAA tournament, for a lot of reasons, but number one has to be the camaraderie. It is not an easy sport to understand, and even harder to participate in, especially at the level it takes to make it to that tournament. I reunite with old teammates, coaches, college enemies, and even my old trainer who used to super glue my cuts together. We all have one thing in common, and that is wrestling.
I am just happy my wife is so understanding.

Pockets are on fire.

Lena and I are spending money like it is burning holes in our pockets. We bought a new gun today, and Lena got a new car! Brand New Toyota Rav 4. My head is spinning. I think I need another Job.

Never would have guessed

I never would have guessed my nephew Parker would ever want to wrestle. I was wrong. He wrestled in a tournament Thursday night and took first place. I am so happy for him, and proud of him. Wrestling is the sport that gave me everything, so it means a lot to me. I never thought PK would be interested, let alone like it. I am blown away. I am happy for him, because one on one victory gives a person confidence not easily rivaled in other arenas. I think every young boy could use that, in heavy doses. I think back to being his age, which is about when I first started, I was scared and anxious to find out what I could do. I didn't loose a match for two years. Then the hardship started. Wrestling is a brutal sport. It has highs and lows as extreme as imaginable. I hope he can make it through them, not only survive, but thrive. I am worried, and afraid for him. I personally know the heart-ache, the frustration, and the pain the sport can bring. I also know the elation, and pride that come even with small victories. It made me the man I am, for better or for worse. I am very thankful for that. I only pray that Parker can have a similar experience.

Boats

Ever since I was very young I have had a profound enfatuation with boats, and the water. There is something about gliding across the water that puts me in a very special place. When I was a kid, I remember Mom and Dad letting my brothers and I sit up on the bow of the "Slug" (pictured). I loved the feeling as we rushed across the water, holding on to the horns that adorned the bow as it sliced through the emerald green water in front of us.

My brothers and I also grew up in a small row boat terrorizing Mockins bay, until it went missing one winter. Then for a while it was the giant red canoe, which also had it's moments. Looking back, I must attribute both of these boats to my ability to handle a drift boat well.

I loved to move across the water in the canoe, or the row boat. My brothers and I would always see how fast we could go, digging the blades of the paddles and pushing the water. However, it was never quite as thrilling as a humming engine pushing up on plane across the water.

One of my most favorite moments growing up was when my parents trusted me enough, at a very young age, to drive the boat by myself. I was so full of pride I almost burst. Knowing that someone trusts you enough to handle responsibility is a great and honorable privilage.

I would spend much of the money I made on gas for the boat, cruising around on Hayden Lake during the short summers. It was truly my favorite thing to do, especially when no one was on the water. I row a boat down rivers for a living now, but lakes will always be my favorite. They both bring happiness to me, but I still love the thrill of a powerfull motor and a smooth glass hull sliding across the open water.

I am patiently awaiting the spring, so I can get my boat back out on the water.

Tying flies.

I have been tying a lot of flies the past couple of days. I used to really enjoy doing this, but now it has become a job instead of a hobby. I still like to do it sometimes, but mostly I would rather just buy them. However, sometimes if you want something done right you have to do it yourself. No offense to all the Asians tying flies in big factories.... Once again I am reminded how lucky I am to be born where I was, and Live here and now. I think I'll just quit here.

Sundays

I love Sundays with my wife. We sleep in a little bit, Lena more than I, then I usually make breakfast before church. Yesterday we were early to church, and even stopped for a bagel on the way. Lena watches baby's (booger eaters) during the second service, so I went home and washed my truck inside and out. Then we went grocery shopping and looked at some new vehicles. We are thinking about getting Lena something new. Toyota is offering some good incentives, we'll see what happens. I was just happy to spend the day with her. I love the days when we can do what we want together, and we actually get something accomplished. I can't wait until next weekend.

The fence line (1st draft)

Red brand steel barbed wire, treated posts and green steel T's

Leather bag of Staples, new gloves and black handled pliers

Early mornings in the pickup balancing steaming cups of coffee

Green spring grass full of dew and a small circle full of liars

Monday on the fence line starts with tales of the weekend rodeos

We pound posts, stretch steel, and dig holes in the ground

We tell jokes and have a laugh at Saturday night's failed romeo

We hustle and sweat all week until Friday rolls back around

Building our line, mile after mile

Hard work pays in a simple kind of style

Whats in your cd player, Ipod, etc.??

I've been listening to Warren Zevon and Jamie Johnson a lot lately. Guys with voices that are very unique, and lyrics that are completely their own. I am having a hard time listening to the radio lately. Too many musicians are making music with very little identity or purpose. They sing songs composed and written by a team of people sitting around a table brainstorming the next "big hit". It's all about money for them, and what everyone will like. That is exactly why I like guys like the one's mentioned above. They make music to make music and don't give a rats ass what "everyone" thinks. They don't care what sells records, they sing what comes from their hearts and their own lives. I think people, as well as musicians like this need to be celebrated more in our culture. Too much has become about marketing to what everyone likes, and bottom line, what sells. I wish we had more people that weren't willing to sacrafice who they are, and what they stand for, to make money. There really is something to be said for people who make an honest living.

Hay Runs (part 5)

I got the string moving without a sound. They were all in a quiet rhythm, focused with the work ahead of them. I carried Sheriff's lead rope in my right hand and focused on the trail and my pace. I liked to walk fast, even when I wasn't in a hurry. I wanted the stock to have to keep up with me. It kept them "honest".

The first part of the descent was short and steep, rocky, and easy for me to look back on my string. The grade was steep enough that each mule was a little higher up than the one in front of it, like theater seating. I took a quick examination of the saddles and picked up the pace as we slid down to an easier grade. I knew that there were ground hornets near, so I sped through the area. I made it, and thought the string would come through unscathed when I heard the tell tale "Snap"!!! and a commotion of frantic hooves and earth moving toward me. I hustled down the trail away from the bees, and tied Sheriff to a tree. I walked back to the end of the string where Ruby and Linda stood, wide eyed and a little stirred up. Both of their piggin strips were broken and their lead ropes left dangling at their feet. "I'm sorry girls, it's okay." I rubbed Ruby's muzzle as I backed her up and took the lead rope out from under her hooves. I tied her back into the new piggin made from orange bailing twine, and then did the same to Linda. Linda seemed totally unfazed, which made me smile. She was turning out to be a pretty solid mule, she was still curious and childish, but loved to work. I was thankful that I didn't have big heavy loads on them, and that we didn't have a bad wreck.

I returned to Sheriff and took out a special bottle from my pommel bags. Pennzoil 10-w-30. I walked down the hill just below the trail and slowly made my way back up to where I thought the nest was. I watched carefully with my back to the sun for the remaining hornets buzzing the trail, upset that their home was disturbed. Finally after a short time I spied two tiny fliers moving in counter clockwise circles, through the shadows and the piercing rays of sun that broke through the timber. I watched them until they floated to the ground and went in. It was a small hole, and I had looked for it several times without any luck. I looked around for remaining soldiers and quickly and quietly approached while opening the motor oil. Bottoms up. I filled the hole with oil and walked away. I knew the bees' didn't know any better, but their biting causes wrecks that could get someone hurt or worse. I put the empty bottle back, and continued down the grade.

I hadn't thought about her since I left the top, but she returned to my thoughts and I quickened my pace for home. I had talked to my mother just about a week before, and she had sent me some diamonds. Diamonds from my grandmother's earrings, and four tiny diamond chips that were hers, the first ones my father had ever given her. I bursted with pride thinking about my family. I was going to have a ring made for Lena, stones from my family and a ring of her very own. Thinking about it only made me anxious, and if she were right here, right now I'd of asked her on the spot. I calmed my self down as we moved like a big centipede zig-zagging down the switch backs of the divide. I was ready to ask her, but I knew that moment, like the corral was still a long ways off.

Never forget

Yesterday I was reminded how much God loves us. I went fishing all day long, and I can't wait to eat what I caught. The Walleye are biting, and I'm happy.

Need a laugh??

These pictures can always make me laugh out loud. I could elaborate, but you know what they say about pictures.

Lonely Hearts

I have a soft spot for certain people. One of them is an older man who lives near me, and I have worked with frequently. He is a skilled carpenter, tile setter, etc. and I have learned a lot from him. He is also lonely. He has made many bad decisions in his life, which have led to him living by himself with no family, near or far, who seem to care about him at all. He has children but no relationship with them, which is very sad and puzzling. I know him as a jolly little fat guy, who is harmless, and always seeking gratification. I know he probably turns into something else when he drinks, which is probably why he is where he is. I feel bad for people who have good hearts, but suck at life. I think loneliness is one of the worst consequenses any human can face for the wrongs they have done others in their lives. I try to include him in my life to some extent, but there is a part of me that puts up a fence at a really personal level and I am not sure why. I think it is because he is one of those people that you have to make an effort for, and I am being too selfish to make that sacrafice. However, I think this is the kind of sacrafice that Christians are asked to make on a daily basis. I have been trying lately to do kind things for others, and ask nothing in return. I feel like that is one of the biggest problems with some people, they will only do things that will benefit them in return. I do not want to be like that. I don't like to be taken advantage of either, but love and genuine kindness is far more rewarding than anything else for me. I am going to try to make more of an effort to reach out to this man.