Chucky S.

When I was in High School and even Jr. High my mother used to listen to an evangelical preacher on the radio in the mornings. My room was near the end of the hall way right next to my mom's radio. She used to crack my door so I could hear Chuck, and I would wake up. The closer I got to graduating the higher the volume went, and the wider the crack in the door. My only act of defiance was to jump up and close the door, but a hollow-core doesn't really do much to block the sound. I was awake and soon even paying attention to the sermon. When I moved away for college, I forgot about Chuck. So much had changed that I hardly even noticed. Years went by before I heard his voice again, or even thought of him. My mom had stopped listening to him as well. A few more years went by and all of our lives changed. A while back I found myself driving across Montana bouncing between places to work, and maybe sleep. I was feeling alone for the first time in my life. I had just spent a few days in the wilderness by myself, utter solitude except for the company of my horse and some mules. For the first time in my life, I was completely alone, and for the first time I truly felt lonely. I even spoke to the stock as though they were listening. After I got out and around other people my spirits didn't raise much. I had been doing some "hard living" and found myself surrounded by hollow strangers who could really care less about me. We were all just in it for a good time. I fought back the only way I knew I could, by immersing myself in the confusion that temporarily soothed my lonely, lost heart. It wasn't long before I hit rock-bottom. Just like the saying, you know it when you're there. I sobered up in the middle the Idaho high plains south of the towering mountains. Land that looked as barren and miserable as I felt. I broke down and started to cry, thinking about the downward spiral of my decisions. I knew this was not the life I wanted. I put my forehead on the steering wheel and prayed for help. When I regained my composure I pulled back on to the the two lane and headed east. I turned the radio on and hit the seek button, and through the static came a hauntingly familiar voice. One I hadn't heard in a very long time. It was Chuck. For the first time in a while a sober and genuine smile came to my face. With the familiar voice came familiar feelings and memories of my mother and my past. I didn't feel lonely anymore, and a tiny spark of hope hit me that I could pull myself out of the tailspin.